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Thursday, June 15, 2006

Why is it that women are more possessive than men are? Or is it just perception??


Why is it that women are more possessive than men are? Or is it just perception??

Disclaimer: Women who can’t accept the truth, please don’t read this post; Men who think womankind is the worst sin of god also don’t read this post : )

I find many women are more possessive than men. They are possessive to another human being (of same sex or opposite sex) or some things/object or plant or something. Is it because majority of them are naïve compared to men? Or the whole concept is just perception.

For example, any girl after marriage expects that the guy’s world should revolve only around her. In many cases they are not allowing the guy to talk to his Siblings, parents also. Sounds weird? Yeah it has happened this way and is still happening. I can write a big list of women like this but I hardly remember men being like this. May be a handful of men are of this sort.

I had 3 close friends in school life and yeah they are still my friends. Fortunately or unfortunately there was only hatred among the three. So I can never have a good time with all the 3 friends. One among the 3 friends told “I hate ‘X & ‘Y’ because of you”. I was appalled and asked how that could be. And I got the answer “I don’t like you having lunch with them, talking with them in short being friendly with them”. I would only call this as possessiveness. I was always wondering why all my 3 friends are always in a cold war and later as said above I got an answer it was nothing but possessiveness.

Well if at all you realize that you are growing possessive then

Try to keep away from that person. I don’t mean run away just keep away.

Never let the other one know that you are possessive because there are people who will take you a ride knowing this.

Anyway it’s not a sin; it’s after all human nature. : ) So may be if we except the truth we can work on it and try to set right things. I badly wanted to post about this because if at all in future i become possessive any one can point and say "hey u spoke so much and wt r u doing now?".


Etho ellarum nalla iruntha seri Hehehehe…

Okie…. Got2go… Bye bye

Have a nice day,
Ponnarasi.K


84 comments:

Dinesh said...

I didn't read this post because I treat Women with respect as Goddesses. No one can match the 3 form of Goddesses in this world - a Mother, a Wife and a daughter.

Tamizhan said...

Equating love with posession shows a weak personality.

Ram said...

May be Oestrogen is related to possesiveness o? he he he...

senthil natarajan said...

i dont think possesiveness is a feline thing...just that they show it more..!! i dont know..
if one is possesive, it shows his or her weak or insecured feeling..

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Dinesh
Parva ilaye disclaimer potathu nallatha pochu ;)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Tamizhan
Yeah well said and agreed!

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Ram
Ayoo yenna arivu... :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Senthil
Solratha sollitu yenna i dono... Nakkala? ;) :P

kuttichuvaru said...

hmm.... yeah I hav seen this too!! as someone said b4, maybe it got to do with the hormones?? :-)

Vijay Ramamurthi said...

ahaaa..thathuvam..chance ella!!

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Kuttichuvaru
Yey harmones keermones katha vittu dont tag us like tht ;) Its something habitual thts it... :|

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Vijay Ramamurthi
Thathuvama :> Nonthu poi oru post potta..Yelarum nakkal'a adikireenga..Hm gavanichikren :P

Syam said...

I have seen this with men too...for example if Y's friend X is talking to a girl then Y will become more possessive towards that girl... :-)

P.S - Y and X are men :-)

Ithula harmone la onnum kidayaathu just poraamai....I mean in the above example

mystery said...

Feelings of possessiveness and protectiveness basically stem from insecurity, lack of trust and lack of socialization; it takes confidence to share...as people get older and mature..they will realize this...
i have to admit that...possessiveness is not a bad thing...its actually good for certain things...if took in a positive way:)..and its common for both the genders..

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Syam
Yeah agreed for both gender. Hahaha...P.S potathu romba apt.. :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Mystery
Yeah agreed for both gender but i find majority of women being possessive :(

Vinesh said...

Men are possessive
Women are possessed

Disclaimer: All in jest ;-)

vJ said...

Possosiveness.. is a dangerous topic. Neenga atha touch paniteengaa.. Kashtam thaan :)

Possosiveness has both +ves and -ves..

You like the person being possosive on you until you find a new interest. After that, you dont like him being possosive on you..

No.. no.. leave that.. aamaa thideerunnu y this topic?! :)

vJ

krk said...

Impressed by the disclaimer than the post itself...as the disclaimer conveyed the crux of the post...cool

Anand Prabhu said...

:) enna solurathu... pollatha ulagamada ithu :)

My days(Gops) said...

aah aah
nice post......

Disclaimer:- naan puriara madhiri solluren, but yaarukumey puriaadhu!

A & B are close friends and C is a one day friend....if B goes around with C, then A'ku poss'ness varaama sandhosama varum? sametime,
if A&B goes around and if C gets possessive'ness? adha muttal thanam'nu sonna nalla irrukum right?

as u said, growing possessive it’s a human nature => oruthanga mela romba "love" irrundhichina, possessive kandipa varum...

@keep away dun run away...
friends kitta vandha ok...Husband and wife'ku vandhaa? eppadi'nga?

man's possessiveness differs totally from Women's....

if u dun understand anything, jst ask me....innum super'a kolapuren..

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Vinesh
Hm.. agreed with the disclaimer ;)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ VJ
Boss neenga solra possessiveness'ey total'a vera ;) Am talking abt the poss.ness btwn same gender as well as opposite ;) But neenga solrathu opposite :P In this case No comments :D

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ KRK
Okie..appo frm nxt time will not post the content ;) Disclaimer alone will be posted..Hehehe kidding.

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Anand
Hahaha... Ok.. But its only us who form that ulagam :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Anand
Hahaha... Ok.. But its only us who form that ulagam :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Gops
Halo ippo yenna'nu purira mari solala... Hm Kolai vizhum soliten :P Kidding..Guess I Understood wt u r trying to say..

My days(Gops) said...

irrundhaalum ungalaku thanadakkam jaasthi'nga..enga'da ivankitta puriala'nu sonna, innum konjam sethu kolapiruvanu, enkitta purinchiduchi'nu solliteengala?
he he he...
therium'la, naan cauvery river water kudichi valandhavanaakum...

Ghost Particle said...

very well written. I would say, apart from gender, the needs of daily lives influences us alot rather than the needs of the other person.

Raju said...

romba correct.. This has to do with 'emotional dependence'.. Though every girl wants a tall, dark and handsome husband, if the hubby is overall more attractive than her, she tends to get insecure.. as if he would ditch her and run away any moment..

KarthiK said...

hey, my name is not Prabhu Karthik, it is Karthik Pandian :-)

Shpriya said...

Thoughtful blog. Place a drop of water on ur palm and keep it open. It stays. Close ur hands and the droplet spreads and goes out of ur hand.That is what happens if we are possessive :)

Has to be me said...

Good 2 c a post from u after a long time!
Regd ur post u shdnt be ?ing these sort of things! :p

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Gops,
Hehehe..Apdilam illaye ;)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ GP,
Thanku! Agreed! :)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Raju,
Kind of complicated comment :D No comment on ur comment :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Karthik
Sorry! Apologies :( I know how irritating it would be if our names are wrongly pronounced or written... Sorry again!

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Shpriya
Very well said... :) Engayo poiteenga..

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Has2beme
Hahaha..Correct thaan ;)

Nirek said...

hey. its very true. possessiveness looks attractive at times, but it an evil and spoilsport. Possessiveness is common in male too, but they wont show it off

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Satu
Oh well! Thts a news ;) Guys dont show it...hm...

Greg said...

motivation books what about it..motivation books

My days(Gops) said...

oruthanga romba happy'a irrukaanga'nu i think....

Anonymous said...

Halo akka,
neenga often kova paduvingalamey.. apdiya??

Guess who... - (i_ _ _ s)

ambi said...

well said, women are more possasive... good post again..

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Gops
Yaru athu? :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Anon
Er.. Thalayum illama vaalum illama kelvi ketta... :-/ Anyways naanga anon'kellam perusa bathil solrathila :P

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Ambi
Ok theerpu koduthuteenga ;)

Bala.G said...

// In many cases they are not allowing the guy to talk to his Siblings, parents also //
This is very bad. I cant accept this.

visithra said...

Actually possesive is a character both genders have - just it is shown differently and differes according to person not gender - ive seen my guy friends bluff to their other guy friends about who theyre out with coz of this possesive trait

and ive seen mothers possesive of their sons even after the sons marriage

ive seen men being possesive of their wives/ gfs

so its really the person rather than the gender

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Bala
Yeah perception differs... :)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Visit
Hm.. Yeah perception differs :)

Amimu said...

not, possessive, but worrying about small things in life. men just move on. keep looking forwards. women look back and try to ponder and analyze each and every minor details, in the process they think unnecessarily.

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@Amimu
Yeah agreed. Ur comment gives new thought for yet another post :)
Y is ur blog in dormant mode ;) ????

Amimu said...

I have been trying to revive my blog after periods of silence. I did a post now, and I am going to commit to one or more blog a day for next 4 weeks. Let me see how i keep my promise :)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Amimu
Hahaha..Ok. On my way 2 ur blog :)

Known Stranger said...

why ?

because woman are woman
men are men.

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Known Stranger
Ayoo yenna arivu.... :p

Sat said...

hmmm...I must say, a very 'one' sided view...You think men are not possessive, think twice!...you're in for a biggg surprise...start dating one and try having a best friend who's a guy...you'll get the picture ;)

P.S: I am not a can't-accept-the-truth woman...rather a seen-it-all woman ;)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Sat
Hm.. Agreed but am talking abt the majority :)

Usha said...

:)) correct dhan, aana possessiveness girls mela guys-ku niraya undu ;) adhai en solla mattenra?

Vidya said...

Nice post !! But you know, possessiveness can also stem from the basic insecurity that a person has. You could notice that in people (not necessarily for women ) !! Women, by nature, are insecure, due to several factors. And hence the apparent reason for possessiveness !!

My two cents !

Vidya

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Usha
Hm.. Therinjiruntha solli irupen ;)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Vidya,
Hm... :-/ Yetho solreenga :)

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY!
» » »

Raghs said...

hi ponnarasi,

first of all a sweet 'hi' 2 u..

to be frank your name inspired me to get into ur blogs as i do have a liking towards the poetic and tamil names..

and this blog cheated me as i expected to read more but it was so short. not sure whether you dint want to pour more or just you had to drop only this much.

it can be a good controversial and subjective matter as things differ from person to person.. as you said the Perception as well...

women seem to get more attached with their things compared to man! is it bcos of their own nature? as we see the mother (basically being a woman) is more affectionate, sensitive and afford to lose things for her fellow beings!?

though i m not so sure how perfectly my qn above fit to the context, would like to say there are even guys (whom i have seen) are more possessive Ponnarasi.

neways, keep writing..
good luck,
Raghavan alias Saravanan M.

Selvan Subramanian said...

Possessiveness : A self-fulfilling prophecy

Women are encouraged to be possesive since long long days either by Woman or a Man.

When they posses something, they are appriciated or uncared of the (Default Women)Behaviour) ?? :)

Anonymous said...

I have seen ladies absolutely not possessive and I have'nt seen any one more possessive than me. I'm a guy. So, it has got nothing to do with the gender.

Known Stranger said...

enna intha posta than sonnia

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Raghavan,
Tht was a very nice comment :) Thanku :)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Selvan Subramanian
Yeah agreed :)

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Anon
Hm.. No name???

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Known stranger
Purilaye

Manny said...

Posessiveness irukalam but sinna pulla thanama irukka koodathu. Though not experienced, I had seen guyz possessive towards their Girl Friend not so possessive towards their wife :). Girls are possessive towards their boy friends and more possessive towards their husbands :). So girls are more possessive in nature.

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Manny
Hahaha irukalam :)

Anonymous said...

Well thats an unfair thing. I've pondered over this a couple of times. One thing is very evident. Women ARE more possessive because it's a general statement that men w'd jump over to another woman quicker and easier than a woman would to another man. And there is a strong historical backing for this statement. (There were a lot more polygynists than there were polyandrists). When we were kids, we heard stories about kings with 4 or 5 wives but did we ever hear a story of a woman with so many husbands? (Except of course the draupati. Even there, she did not 'want' so many husbands but her husband forced her to be the wife to his brothers too). Hell even the CM has his wives.

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Manoj
Yeah! Agreed! And thts a nice point.. :)

Sathish said...

mmmm.... Choice :) .. makes life interesting...

Hey.. how did u conclude the previous comment was from "Manoj"?! (though don't agree with him. During the time of kings there were wars, and more men than women died in wars, so the population always had more women.. and hence men had more wives ;) And he shouldn't worry too much for Polyandrists... it will happen soon... with our existing sex ratio in population... Just chance kidaichidu'nu... :)) )

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Sathish,
Google,orkut and blogger merge panrathuku munadi it showed the persons name..actualy he is nt Anonymous :) He commented in his identity but after it was all merged..i think he didnt club blogger id with gmail..so anony katuthu! :)

Ken said...

Hey Buddy, I am Ken from Brisbane. My gf made me sick of this term possessive and i googled and came to your page.

This post is cool. Good work man.

http://www.google.com.au/search?
hl=en&q=possessive%20women&meta=

U r Asian?

sankar said...

I searched this topic to overcome my possesiveness over my gf.. it's nice

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Ken
Thank you! Sorry for the very late reply!

Ponnarasi Kothandaraman said...

@ Sankar
Thank you! :) Just a curious question if @ all u drop in this page again...Mission accomplished?

Anonymous said...

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